Life always has its challenging periods – and when those surface we need to lean in and embracing the new even more, not feel the pressure and fall back to the known. It makes sense that when things get tough and we feel we are out of our depth, over our limit or just plane lost that we go back to what feels comfortable, familiar and achievable.
Ride out the wave and start the goal drive once that period has passed? I can see the logic in that way of thinking. But goodness me that’s making life hard! Standing still, remaining small, existing not growing – that’s not what we’re here for, and if you believe the adage that "life never gives you something you can’t handle" then those hard times are times for growth, innovation and expansion at scales you’d never realise you were capable of.
We can all look back with the wonder of hindsight and see that some of the hardest times of our lives were also the most rewarding, eye-opening and uplifting times. Times we found out who we mattered to, what we are truly capable of and what deep down matters to us. Those are fundamentally helpful and inspiring things to know.
Hard times are amazing at giving us clarity – often in ways we least expected.
10 years ago I was sick, real sick, given 6-weeks to live type of sick. That clarity was all encompassing and motivating. I hadn’t really been living a life, I’d been existing in my comfort zone playing it small, and in one single sentence my zest for life was shown to me with such clarity I knew I’d do whatever it took to survive and change my life to represent something I could be proud of.
One of the first books I read, in that time, was Susan Jeffers – feel the fear and do it anyway. I highlighted that book like it was set text at school. In it she talks about 5 truths of fear and every single one rang true for me.
Now I’m not saying that everyone will have that kind of experience to provide their clarity (god I hope you won’t), but the tenants of the story are valid for each of us on every level. A new role, a new skill, a new way of working, a new boss, a new team, a new relationship, a new hobby, a new child, a new responsibility, a new way of thinking, a new way of being anything new or unfamiliar comes with its respective quota of fear attached.
We all fear different things, for different reasons, but fear of change is universal. Even those who say they love change are usually meaning when they are the ones implementing it on others. When they are forced to change they are as human as the rest of us.
In the past 18 months we've all gone through many types of change that we never expected or wanted, having to adopt many types of “new” all at the same time. It’s a stressful time for sure. Many are looking for a saviour, someone to set the tone, to strike out and show the art of the possible for the an organisation or person that needs to change (be that ways of working, structures, people, skillsets technology) – company or person that's an overhaul! It's scary to feel on the edge, everyone looking at you, some hoping you fail, others hoping you succeed, some wishing they were part of it, others hiding in fear of having to follow suit. Seeking to proactively change puts you in a privileged position but a scary one that will bring out all the fears of change we know and love.
So my challenge to you as part of this blog, is to reflect on all that we've shared in these blogs, the habits that we’ve talked about that will enable us to raise the bar for each of us individually, your team/family and your company by association. Contemplate what about that and the journey scares you.
And to then face into that fear. Push harder in those areas to make them the areas you lean in more – proactively seek training in, ask for help in, prioritise and surface to those around you the focus that is needed there. In Susan’s world this is moving from fear to power:
“if everybody feels fear when approaching something totally new in life. Yet so many are out there “doing it” despite the fear, then we must conclude that fear is not the problem. The real issue has nothing to do with the fear itself, but, rather how we hold the fear. For some the fear is totally irrelevant. For others, it creates a state of paralysis. The former hold their fear from a position of power (choice, energy, and action), and the latter hold it from a position of pain (helplessness, depression and paralysis). So, the secret to handling fear is to move yourself from a position of pain to a position of power”.
The most powerful word for me in that is CHOICE… we always have a choice, and choices give you so much. They are empowering, motivating, life-changing and whilst in a period of change, making the choice to lean in, to seek the new and strive to expand your comfort zone is exactly where we all need to be.
My favourite quote of all time is;
“You must make the CHOICE, to take the CHANCE, if you want anything in life to CHANGE.”
Back in those dark days of 2011/12 – they were my mantra, my inspiration and my connection to the future I was fighting for. It inspired my first tattoo, the name of my company (Conscious Action) and a whole host of changes I made in my life and that I continue to make every day for, what I hope, is the benefit of those all around me.
So what’s your choice? To lean into the new, or fall back to the known??
Until next time...
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