So, we’re nearing the end of Feb – 2 months down in 2021…. Statistics show that by now nearly all of you will have given up on the majority of your goals/ new year resolutions.
Whether it's a small, (seemingly) easily achievable goal or a huge, life-changing goal, people tend to fail at the same rate: Approximately 80 percent of people who make New Year's resolutions have dropped them by the second week of February.
Many don't make it nearly that long. Research conducted by Strava using over 800 million user-logged activities in 2019 predicts the day most people are likely to give up on their New Year's Resolution is January 19. (Strava calls it "Quitter's Day.")
Have you let them fall by the wayside?
If so, it worth a check-in, a re-confirmation and if needed a reset.
What is the psychology of goal-setting?
Let’s remind ourselves why we set goals. They play a dominant role in shaping the way we see ourselves and others. A person who is focused and goal-oriented is likely to have a more positive approach towards life and perceive failures as temporary setbacks, rather than personal shortcomings.
Tony Robbins, a world-famous motivational speaker, and coach had said that
“Setting goals is the first step from turning the invisible to visible.”
As we talked about before, studies have proved that when we train our mind to think about what we want in life and work towards reaching it, the brain automatically rewires itself to acquire the ideal self-image and makes it an essential part of our identity (that’s the habit loops we neurologically create when we repeat and reinforce a goal, an idea or a new way of being/working/thinking). If we achieve the goal, we achieve fulfilment, and if we don’t, our brain keeps nudging us until we achieve it.
Psychologists and mental health researchers associate goals with a higher predictability of success, the reasons being:
Goals involve values
Effective goals base themselves on high values and ethics. Just like the S-M-A-R-T goals, they guide us person to understand our core values before embarking upon setting goals for success. Studies have shown that the more we align our core values and principles, the more likely we are to benefit from our goal plans. (if you don’t know what your core values are – wait a week we’ll talk about these next time).
Goals bind us to reality
A practical goal plan calls for a reality check. We become aware of our strengths and weaknesses and choose actions that are in line with our potential. For example, a good orator should set goals to flourish as a speaker, while an expressive writer must aim to succeed as an author.
Realising our abilities and accepting them is a vital aspect of goal-setting as it makes room for introspection and helps in setting realistic expectations from ourselves. I have based my entire business on this aspect – I had propositions called “getting out of your own way” and “playing to your strengths”. It is essential that we are aware of what these are and honest about them. It is pointless trying to believe we are great at everything
Goals call for self-evaluation
Successful accomplishment of goals is a clear indicator of our success. We don’t need validation from others once we have achieved the goals we set for ourselves. The scope of self-evaluation boosts self-confidence, efficacy, self-reliance, and gives us the motivation to continue setting practical goals in all subsequent stages of life.
Now that we’ve reminded ourselves it’s time to go find the goals we wrote in January – we need to bring them back to the front of mind, to see if you are doing what you need to daily to get those new habits neurologically programmed in, so your sub-conscious is helping you achieve them 24/7!!
A point of order at this juncture - there’s no reason why you should have started all of them. A year is made up of 12 months, and no-one says that all goals must take 12 months or must run Jan-Dec.
So focus only on the ones that you either had started or had intended to start, and ask yourself the following questions:
Did you really articulate what you wanted?
Did you set too many?
Were they too easy, too hard?
Were they too abstract?
Has lockdown made them infeasible to have started?
Be really honest with yourself, and then if needed rewrite some. Cross some out, add revised ones. And this time learn from the experiences of the last 2 months.
Then ask yourself “Why do you care about this goal?” It’s a simple question, and a frighteningly accurate way to predict whether or not you will abandon the goals at the first roadblock. The people who will pursue their goals regardless of the challenges will answer with something like, “This goal is my passion, it’s what I’m here to do,” or, “I love my children too much to not accomplish this.”
“We tend to be what we measure -- so find simple ways to measure what you want to be. And then stick to them. Because an unexamined life tends to be a life without goal achievement.”
We’ve all heard about SMART goals. But in the context of the above question about why you care - have you ever set a HARD goal?
Heartfelt — My goals will enrich the lives of somebody besides me— customers, the community, humanity etc. Animated — I can vividly picture how great it will feel when I achieve my goals. Required — My goals are absolutely necessary to help myself, my company, my family etc. Difficult — I will have to learn new skills and leave my comfort zone to achieve my assigned goals for this year.
Here’s a great little test to do to see if you are setting hard goals (click here and scroll to the bottom –the research is interesting and insightful too.)
It will come as no surprise that I set HARD goals for myself - Do you?
If not – why not try now… there is no wrong or bad day to create a goal and start a new habit…
Until next time….
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