If you decided to take my prompt and set yourselves some goals for 2021, I am really hoping they were of varying scales of hugeness. I’m sure we all have some things on that list that you already know are shoe-ins, some that are in-sight but hopefully there are 1 or 2 that are big – that scare you a little, that inspire you a lot – because the promise of the difference achieving that goal will make to your life is awesome
Today I want to talk about those goals.
There’s a well-known Chinese proverb that says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Yet far too many people never even get started on that journey because they are afraid to take that first step.
Why?
Maybe it’s because the journey seems too overwhelming, the goal too far away, there’s too much that needs to be done, and the path isn’t clear.
Or maybe it’s because we are all too used to wanting and getting immediate results that we are distracted from anything long-term.
But the thing is - long-term goals/ Big goals – the ones that can really make the difference - they aren’t accomplished in a single day!
And, they are not the result of a single, huge, monumental effort.
“Success is not a big step in the future, success is a small step taken right now”
The only way you’re going to accomplish something really big and ambitious – the kind of goal that will transform your life– is by consistently taking one small step at a time in the right direction.I love this image – it really works for me visually to help me think about how best to approach my longer-term or more challenging goals.
“Take small steps each day. You might not get there today, but you’ll be closer than yesterday”
If we think about the Goal Setting blog it bears this out. The habit loops you create are a testament to the small things/steps done every day, and repeated until they are neurally encoded. So if there’s something you want to achieve then the best way to do that is to identify the behaviours that will assist you and make those encoded habit loops. Using things like the 5-second rule from Blog Context is Everything.
If you reflect on the concept I shared from Mel Robbins that confidence is borne of action then John Johnson’s quote makes total sense.
Let's get neurological
Let’s take a small side-step here to explain why starting new things, and long-terms goals are scary. To answer that we have to go back to the brain. Today we’re going to look at the Amygdala.
A small almond shaped cluster of cells in the temporal lobe of each cerebral hemisphere that is part of the limbic system and is believed to play an important role in emotion. It is best known for its role in the process of fear. When we are exposed to a fearful stimulus, information about the stimulus is immediately sent to the amygdala, which in turn send signals to other parts of the brain like the hypothalamus to trigger a reaction.
What research is showing is that the information can reach the amygdala before we are even consciously aware that there is anything to be fearful of.
Why is this relevant, well to our brain, anything new is something to be fearful of. The brain is wired and setup to focus on self-preservation and the unknown is perceived as potentially life-threatening.
Anything new triggers the amygdala so immediately (before you even know it) your brain will actually be working against the new direction you want to take in your life. It you try to take too big steps, the anxiety and fear will add barriers to achieving those goals. You then require on the 5% of the day that your conscious brain is in control or in layman’s terms – willpower and self-control. This is, in many cases, the reason why those new year resolutions fall by the wayside by April.
So the trick to big goals is to break then down into small steps. A step that doesn’t trigger the amygdala, a step that can be done daily without mental resistance and create that habit loop so the brain never perceives it as something new or fearful, instead it sees it as something important and starts to commit cells to it (that’s the a encoded habit loop)
“Success is the sum of the small efforts, repeated day in and day out” – R Collier
So now you have your goals articulated, it is time to formulate your plan to achieve them. It is natural to want to dive right into action. Resist. Instead, start by formulating a question that will help you figure out one small, super-easy way to begin to reach your goal.
Let’s say you want to get in better shape, one of the most common new year’s resolutions. Before you even consider putting on trainers, ask yourself, what’s one way to work a minute or two of exercise into my day? (Versus, how can I get in the best shape ever?) Or perhaps you want to banish gluten for a healthier gut. Ask, what’s one healthy, gluten-free food I can enjoy when I’m craving carbs? (Not, how can I give up gluten forever?)
“The man who moves a mountain begin by carrying away small stones” - Confucius
Once you’ve got your small question, keep asking it—several times a day, for several days.
Why?
Well, let’s go back to the brain
Asking yourself the same small question over and over triggers the hippocampus, the part of the brain that decides which info to store and what to retrieve.
Whereas statements and commands are alerting and trigger fear, questions are engaging and signal the hippocampus to pay attention and start generating ideas, solutions, and eventually, action.
Now it’s time to do something! But remember, the key is to take small, but regular and incremental actions that don’t illicit a fear response and leave the amygdala out of it.
With each step do it until it’s automatic and then you add another one.
Let’s take the example of going vegan. One possible small action: Throw out the first bite of anything non-vegan, then eat the rest. (The first bite is much easier to let go of—you still have the rest to enjoy!) Do your small step until it becomes automatic, then add the next small step to your habit loop, and you incrementally keep going until you don’t need or want the non-vegan in the first place.
The key here is to work out how small the step needs to be. The rule to employ here is that it should require no effort – you should be 100% sure you can do it. We are very good at sabotaging ourselves.
Often a small step can trigger a that critical inner voice that says we should be doing so much more. The point is to whet your appetite for continued success and pave the path for change. The research is very clear - make one small change, and more changes will follow. And often the changes that follow get bigger each time, as you build that confidence, and the habit loop gets stronger. Remember you have 12 months to achieve your goal, so starting small doesn’t mean not getting there!
“Small steps may appear unimpressive, but don't be deceived. They are the means by which perspectives are subtly altered, mountains are gradually scaled, and lives are drastically changed.”
Before I go, one more tip. Give yourself small rewards. It’s no surprise that rewards are motivating, but the key is to ensure they’re intrinsically motivating—otherwise the reward can become the goal, as opposed to the goal itself. You need to ensure you set the right reward.
First - make the reward appropriate to the goal, as in, no cake if you’re trying to avoid sugar, or no trip to Maui if you’re focusing on getting out of debt.
Second - make it appropriate to you, something you find pleasurable. Maybe for you that means kicking your feet up and watching the latest episode of This Is Us, playing 15 minutes of a video game, reading a magazine, or soaking in a hot tub.
Third - keep it small and inexpensive so it’s both sustainable (regular spa visits or expensive dinners will add up fast) and again, doesn’t eclipse your original goal.
“Just believe in yourself, and you will realise that even those small steps taken in the right direction can produce great results.” ― Dr Prem Jagyasi
On this basis, there is no goal that is too big to feature on your wheel, nothing that can’t be broken down like adding extra rungs to the ladder to enable you get started with your dreams and goals working in harmony with your brain. The key is to keep is small and simple (maybe this should be the new KISS principle).
Until next time…
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